Confessions of a Mommy

This week I most certainly did NOT lose all control over my impulses and decide that I HAD to pop a white head on Maddux's face. He most certainly did NOT try and squirm away from me like I was the plague. I did NOT enjoy getting a large amount of white substance out of that white head either. I mean, if I did enjoy it, what kind of sick mother would I be??

I most definitly did NOT consider putting a maxi pad in Matalie's panties yesterday when she kept having "squirts" in her panties everytime she farted. It would have NOT been much easier then changing her panties everytime she farted. And along that line, I did NOT tell her that she had to put all her farts in the potty today and not to just let them rip at random.

I have not lost my mind completely enough that yesterday while I was swimming did NOT remember that I needed to take my breastpads out once I was ALREADY in the pool. When we went to leave the pool, I may or may not have been stopped by my friend who was carrying my breastpads to the trash, to remind me that I had left them on the side of the pool. I am way too cool, calm and collected to do any of the above things.